Today, we’d like to focus on the progress of our four boys, who we are in the process of adopting. Wilgens, 12, Williamson, 11, Youbensly, 9, and Nelson, 4, have been living with us now for 20 months. We have learned a lot in this time about what it means to be parents and feel we are finding more and more of a healthy balance.
Wilgens, Williamson, and Youbensly completed their first year of school at an English/French institute, which also happens to be 25 feet away from our home. The school is run by Americans, who are extremely accommodating and more modern in their teaching methodology. Our boys all started out on a first grade track, but Wilgens and Williamson were able to complete both first and second grade in one year. They were initially tested going into the school and, because of their gaps, were all taken back to first grade. Wilgens and Williamson had a much greater capacity than first grade level material, so they were able to advance, and in September they will be on a 3rd/4th grade track. If they do well, they will be able to enter 5thgrade in 2018 and complete a normal year. This sort of doubling up is normal at this particular school, because it is so common for incoming students to be missing important foundations in their knowledge. They all passed with above average grades, and they love learning English. Nelson will also be attending school this year for the first time.
Goofing off at home, from Left, Wilgens, Williamson, and Youbensly
We’ve learned a lot about our children personally over the last couple years. We’ve learned how to deal better with the sensitive one, who is independent and wants to do his own thing, how to manage behavior better (weekly points system!), and how to help them balance a life between our American ways and their Haitian roots. This summer, they have been spending more time in Bois Boeuf, where the JRF community resides, at their request. There they stay with a family of 7 in a two-room home. It is hotter, there is no running water, and they sleep on small cots on the floor. The lack of comfort doesn’t matter to them. In Bois Boeuf, they play soccer, have an abundance of friends, and chill. Also, going to different schools than the JRF kids and having a different residence may make them feel a bit alienated, so ensuring they spend lots of time in Bois Boeuf keeps their ties strong.
From left, Youbensly, Wilgens, and Williamson playing at the pool, one of their absolute favorite activities!
We’ve seen a lot of maturing in Wilgens since he moved in with us. He is more content and less moody, and likes to do his own thing. He is cooperative and present, but prefers to mostly be left alone, as most young teens do. He is a hard worker and saves up money quicker than his two brothers. He has managed to buy and sell bikes, as well as get a nice cell phone for himself.
Wilgens, 12 yrs old
Williamson is sweet, athletic, and plays hard. He loves soccer, climbing trees, and playing just about anything with his friends. He is also a hard worker and has gained some of the most points at the Foundation, and as a result has been rewarded with a couple shopping sprees at the market. He has been in dance class with many of the other children since last September, and at their recital next weekend he’ll be receiving the award among his age group of “most valuable dancer.”
Williamson, 11 yrs, riding his bike at the Jacmel Boardwalk
Youbensly is affectionate, goofy, and active, and loves to spend time with us. A wise woman suggested to us that we try to get individualized time with the boys, in order to bond more. Once having a special one-on-one night became an option, Youbensly latched on and has spent more time with us without his brothers than ever. He also loves soccer and being outdoors, watching movies, and getting lots of attention.
Youbensly, 9 yrs old
Nelson, our little 4 year old, is doing wonderfully. He constantly learns and grows, as toddlers do, and is finally starting to use English in his communication. He has a little tricycle that he is addicted to, which is his primary form of transport, in or outside the house. Currently, his favorite books are The Giraffe That Ate the Moon and the Foot Book, the former told in Haitian Creole and the latter in English. He is fun, silly, active, a good listener, and extremely social. Nelson spends the majority of his time and all of his nights with us, unlike the older boys. He is quite clever with his kisses and use of “mom” and “dad”, knowing how it makes us softer. We assume he is not a con artist, but rather a typical 4 year old who knows how to get what he wants.
Nelson, 4 yrs old, on his first day of summer camp (left) and with his trike (right).
It’s been a real adventure having these four personalities as part of our family, and we both agree that life was less interesting before them. We are moving along in the adoption process. It is purposely opaque so that the Haitian government and lawyers can make more money, but the JRF is not paying for this process. We are still hopeful to have them visit the US with us at Christmas time.
Thank you all for your constant love and support of our endeavors.
Catherine and David
